My Friend

He drank XXXX, I drank pineapple juice.

I listened to his ‘home life’, he listened to mine.

We talked about the hardship that our families went through so that we can exist.

I listened to his ‘history’, he listened to mine.

We talked about secrets and the joys of youth.

I listened to his ‘present’, he listened to mine.

We talked about the profound beauty and deep sadness that accompanies love.

I listened to his ‘future’, he listened to mine.

We talked about our hobbies, and the concept of job security.

He tried to explain to me the concept of ‘Han’.

I tried to to explain the history of multiculturalism in Australia.

We talked about the very nature of love, and how differently our separate cultures deal with it.

We touched glasses, shook hands, exchanged a hug.

I have a new best friend.

Chicken Art…

Don’t ask questions, originally uploaded by jeremyinkorea.

Ahhh Korea – the land of strange choices in English translation.

The sign in Korean says:

Seoul Munhwa Kwan (Seoul Cultural Museum)

But apparently it’s a receptacle for Chicken Related Art.

Who knows – worth a photo though.

Taxi nights

Transcript of conversation with taxi driver (originally in Korean, though translated into English for your convenience):

Driver: (sigh) Christmas, Christmas… It’s almost Christmas…
Jeremy: Yes
Driver: (wistfully) The 25th or the 24th
Jeremy: Christmas is the 25th
Driver: No, it’s the 24th…

(awkward silence)

Nathan: (English) What was that Jezz?
Jeremy: (English) Nothing…

(Driving continues for almost 2 minutes)

Jeremy: (in Korean) We want to stop 100 metres on the right
Driver: (panicking) What? Left at the intersection? (swerves to the left)
Jeremy: No no, it’s ok, right, stop here
Nathan: HERE HERE, STOP HERE!!!

The transcendent power of theatre…

You KNOW that you are good when small children involuntarily wet themselves in your presence.

In other news, poor Rachel lost her voice in rather a spectacular fashion on Saturday night, which meant that, with 20 minutes rehearsal, I had to sing her numbers on Sunday… A little bit awkward, I can tell you (especially considering her big number is (I’m A) Ukulele Lady…)

Whatever, it was amazing.

I celebrated by being scrubbed to within an inch of my life by a half-naked man in the public baths (Chim Chil Bung) after which he jumped on me in an attempt to work out the mass of knotted muscle that inevitably develops from carrying a 16kg piano-accordion named Hillary for 9 weeks. Unfortunately, I think he mistook my right shoulder blade as muscle mass and I am considerably sorer as a result.

(Is sorer a word? I don’t know, I’m only working for one of Korea’s major providers of educational English language resources.)

kgwahk(t)

kgwahk(t), originally uploaded by jeremyinkorea.

The Korean language has no transitional vowels. For example, the vernacular Australian expression of “oi!”, which any Australian would regard as mono-syllabic, would, infact be transliterated into Hanguel (the written form of Korean) as two syllables, eg. eo-i, (awh-ee). Hanguel is construced of character sets, in which each set is made up of alphabetic characters and represents one syllable. Each syllable must have a vowel and a consonant, and must start with a consonant, even if it is a silent place-holder. Also, consonants cannot be placed together without a placeholder, or ‘neutral’ vowel, which is voiced very slightly as an ‘eu’ sound.

This means that the spoken form (Hangook-mal) is very specific, and to be understood one must learn to replicate Korean intonation and vowel sounds with a great deal of specificity. I am required to sing one word in particular which, quite frankly, almost left me, a trembling mess, on the floor, sobbing in the foetal position.

That word my friends, is ‘ggwak’. This seems fairly innocuous, until you learn that it is pronounced as kgwahk(t).
Double ‘g/k’ , ‘awh’ , ‘ah’ , ‘g/k’ , with an implied ‘t’. All in one syllable, with next to no change in mouth shape.

It means held, tight, sealed. In the contect of the lyric is gives meaning to the phrase ‘ip man ggwak’ – ‘lips are sealed’.

Konglish – Example 1

Konglish – Lesson 1, originally uploaded by jeremyinkorea.

As anyone who has ever set foot in an Asian Land can tell you, the generic Asiatic peoples love to decorate themselves, and their possessions with English words. Much the same as people in the more Western regions tattoo their bodies with Chinese characters, or buy a shirt with a vaguely Asian scrawl on it. It’s cool. Unfortunately in Korea, entire sentences, and sometimes paragraphs are constructed for their aesthetic, rather than semiotic appeal. The result is often hilarious, though almost always sincere. This is the first in what I am sure will be an enthralling season of Konglish for Beginners.