House-proud

For the purpose of this story, I will use the personal pronouns that I grew up with and will pray that they cause no harm.

I had a beautiful catchup today with one of my favorite little queers.

She mentioned that upon finding herself amongst new acquaintances this week, she couldn’t help feeling ‘house-proud’. This consisted mainly of her talking quite a bit about her two boyfriends with which she shares a completely consensual, open, non-hierarchical polyamorous relationship. And the fact that she was sad that one of her boyfriends is pining for her German lover, and that this made my friend equally sad. In the ‘I am sad because I want you to be happy, how can we get you to Germany’ kind of way.

I like the term house-proud. I think it most adequately describes the way I feel about my life at the moment. My friend reminded me that I don’t have to feel defensive or guilty or censor the way I talk about the people I love.

Just love, and be honest about it.

In a similar vein, there have been a couple of performances around lately that have, in slightly different ways, asked participants to write down their secrets. Their deepest darkest secrets that they have never told anyone.

Nathan reflected that he couldn’t participate in this task, and that even though he wanted to for the sake of the performance, that being truthful was probably his best response. Writing nothing.

I thought about it for a moment and realised that I would have to make the same decision. After a few moments more I also realised that if the question was ‘write down something you have never told Nathan’, my response would be the same.

A moment of silence.

Selling Out

Nathan is on a date with Tom Dickins, so I have taken a few moments to bless myself with two lunches, chai and a blog post.

God on a WHEEL it has been ages since I have posted. Life has just run all over me (and I over it) these last few months.

I am in a very tangled, happy, extravagant, content and nervous place right now. I am also sitting, quite appropriately in a cafe called Jeremy’s on the very European Hardware Lane in Melbourne.

I think that is enough with the opening lines.

Simplicity

At the moment I am living the simple life.

I accept that from the outside this does not seem real, but it is the truth. I only choose to do things that make me happy. I wear everyhing that I like (sometimes regardless of the aesthetic outcome). I eat when I can afford to.

And I only do one thing at a time.

Temporally that is.

…I hate losing well-written posts on the iPhone…

When I am more fine about this I will try again

Is Very Much In Love

The thing is.

I am very much in love.

I also have an iPhone which at first glance, would not seem to be all that relevant until you consider the fact that I am writing this post on said iPhone (name of 친구) from a couch belonging to a boy I/we met in Adelaide on which I have been sleeping for a week. Before then I was, amongst other locations, bunking on the floor of his Music Room. For he is a boy of considerable talent.

I am in love with my life. The people in it. The food I eat and the beverages I drink and the inevitable conversations about art, life, language politics, sex and gender.

And the people.

I have much love to share, and I intend on sharing it.

I am happy to exist in this limbo, pregnant, in-between potential, place.

And move on when I need.

An Ethical Life

What started as a reply to an old friend who asked me what had changed in me since I was a boy, escalated into an essay. If you are interested in the way I see the world right now, then by all means read on, but don’t feel obliged.

If anything it will be an interesting artifact for me to come back to in a couple of years when I am panicking about the onset of middle age (rather than stepping into my late-mid-twenties). Of course, I can’t take credit for thinking any of this. It is a pretty comprehensive mix of everything that I have come into contact with (ever?) and I owe a lot to the people I hold most dear who endure endless hours of conversation on topics such as love, compersion and butoh.

Protected: Love Day

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

I don’t know…

… exactly when I became so absolutely at peace and fine with everything.

A slow process, but these last few months have really been interesting.

And I come home (well, to the people I love) in under three weeks.

Show Us Your City: A Walk In Seoul | Creative Cities 2.0

Show Us Your City: A Walk In Seoul | Creative Cities 2.0.

I could say so much, but there are not any words.

Watch the video, follow the link and read the interveiw.

There are many reasons why this city and this boy are so special.

This is one of them.

Love…

“Love, as we often define it, is usually considered to be an exclusive rather than inclusive game. Someone loves you and therefore doesn’t love anyone else. But when you add it up, this usually comes out to a loss, because in our short visits to the planet, in a healthy state of mind, we might want to love everyone who is righteous and true, and to return the love of everyone who touches our hearts, and call that safety and nothing else. For living in the constant fear of loss and betrayal is hardly safety; it is hardly the security we say we seek; it is a setup for total paranoia, but strangely, sadly, it’s called love.”

Eric Francis.

Universal Love

I have recently surprised myself with how effective I am at being the source of Universal Love. Startlingly effective.

Everything this week has been pointing in the same direction.

And everything will be fine.

Now I have butterflies, so, I’m going to bed.

Merry Christmas!