Clothes: 20.2kg
Butoh Paint: 1.2kg
Sewing Machine: 9.0kg
Books: 7.5kg
Electronics: 10kg
Keytar: 6.4kg
Sound Gear: 14kg
Flutes: 1.2kg
TOTAL: 69.5kg
Ok, so this is unacceptable, as my ticket gives me only a 20kg allowance and excess baggage is charged at USD30 a kilo.
TOTAL: 49.5kg
My contract gives me an additional 20kg.
TOTAL: 29.5kg
They will also pay for what I needed for the show.
TOTAL: 7.9kg
Which I will probably stuff into my briefcase as additional hand luggage.
(But it is so heavy and you have too many bags. Oh no, look at my big headphones – I’m a DJ, I couldn’t possibly part with my expensive equipment. Are you famous? Not yet. Ok).
The only problem is, I have completely packed, and I don’t leave for another week.
Don’t Gypsies usually travel light?

